Draining me

Have you ever had an experience that made you feel like it just drained the life right out of you?

It happened to me tonight as I volunteered with an organization that was in my area to help with hurricane disaster relief.

I have been there all week. I have seen the big tent filled with people being fed breakfast, lunch and dinner. I have seen the lines of cars being filled with ice, water, and MREs supplied by FEMA and various churches.

I was duly impressed by how great this organization was. I was ready to start a local chapter... until tonight.

A man and his wife walked in the door and said they needed shelter. They asked just to set up a tent on the lawn. They were told "no" but they could sleep under the open sided tent already set up. What a gift... a night sleeping with the mutant mosquitos stirred up by the hurricane. No effort was made to get them a place in a shelter. No offer to do anything to help them. No sooner than they walked out of the door they were forgotten by those they had asked for help.

But something happened... a pastor from a near by town came to the door. I let him in and questioned him to find out who he was and why he was there. At that same time the man walked up again, he wanted to go to the bathroom and brush his teeth. The pastor spoke to him and he explained his plight. The pastor got on the phone and began looking for shelters. He found one and he went and bought pillows and blankets for the man and his wife and then he drove them to a shelter in a nearby town.

One pastor, new to the area, showed more heart and made more of a difference in that man and his wife's life than the big organization that is so big and in your face.
It all looked so good and played so well on television, but where the shoe hits the pavement... the humanitarian organization failed.

Friendship

What is true friendship?

Well, to me, it is the act of loving and accepting the person I have chosen to call friend, just the way she is. Loving our time together whenever it comes, not being resentful of time she spends with others, celebrating the successes of her life with her, just as I would expect her to celebrate the successes of mine. It means loving unconditionally and accepting her just the way she is.

That means, in spite of her faults, weaknesses and idiosyncrasies I choose to be her friend…just as I would hope and expect her to continue to unconditionally love me in spite of my faults, weaknesses and idiosyncrasies.

So, if my friend acts in a way, which is consistent with who I have always known her to be, is it right for me to get angry over it? After all, it is not her behavior that has changed; it is just that her behavior didn’t match up to my expectations of her in a certain situation.

So, who has failed the friendship?
Is it her, who has remained consistently who she has always been or is it me, the one who has changed my definition and expectation of what our relationship is suppose to be?

Is it ok that I place restrictions and demands on her? If she doesn't behave in just the way I want her her to then we cannot be friends anymore? Can I just change the rules of friendship without even informing her of the change in my expectations of her?


Did I fail the "unconditional love" part of the test of friendship? Or did I just fail to be a friend???


...

Generation Y

Please read the blog by Yoani Sanchez

http://desdecuba.com/generaciony/

She is in Cuba and tells about the daily life she leads.

It is very eye-opening.

We have no right to complain.

We have it easy.

exhausted

Sometimes life is just exhausting... people drain me.

I just don't have the energy to deal today.

I just want to be able to opt out and not have to deal with other people's stuff.

I need summer.

I think that will help.

hopefully

His touch...

So today as I walked out of the school it hit me.

I was amazed at how right everything seemed.

I love how God blesses us with His presence.

I love how awesome He is.

I feel so blessed.

No Man is an Island

To continue the thoughts of yesterday.

We have to move through this life remembering that action and consequence are two sides of the same ball.

And we have to remember that our actions and the consequences of those actions always affect the lives of those who love us.

If I move away, it takes something away from the lives of those who love me.

If I hurt, those who love me hurt.

If I have joy in my life, that happiness infects the lives of those who love me.

If I have great success in my life, it gives a sense of well-being and pride to the lives of those who love me.

Our lives are intermingled.

We can add zest and spice to the lives of those who love us.

We can add strength.

We can add love.

So truly no man is an island.

Our lives are edged with the lives of others. They are our borders.

Together we are made stronger.

Together we can weather the storms.

To change or not to change...

It is that age old question of to change or not to change... well; at least it is a variation of the age old question anyway.

I have a job. I am a teacher. I gripe about it everyday, but really it is a perfectly good job. The thing is that this other job that I thought I wanted has now become available. So I am faced with the dilemma of… do I go for it or sit tight where I am.

Don't tell me to make the pros and con list. I did that mentally a week ago. And yet, I still can't make the decision. Last week I decided to stay put. This week... I am thinking about going for it.

It would involve a move. But only about two hours away from home. I even have somewhere to live if I get the job. And yet… indecision persists.

Pros –
It is a job I have been hoping
It would be a better work environment, smaller classes, less students
It pays more than my current job
It has benefits; it is a social security paying school
Living in my lake house

Cons –
Leaving my home to live in the lake house ( yeah, that is a pro and a con)
Not being close to doctors, dentist etc
Losing my seniority on the job
Losing my job security by being on a probationary contract for two years
Uprooting my dogs to a house without a pet door and fenced in yard
And the worst thing - leaving my elderly parents behind, and being two hours away from them.
Not being to drive 5 minutes to pop-in and see my parents on a daily basis.
Not being available in the middle of the night to help my mom if my dad needs to go to the hospital.
Not being close enough to the hospital to go visit them everyday after work.
Not being available to the ones I love most in the world.


Well, I guess it is settled because now that I look at the list all of the things on the PROS list are really selfish things. And the things on the CONS list are the things that matter most… my family.

So I will not change. Change is not always good.